It’s a normal day of October 2023, and I had just arrived home with my mom from the mall. We were still sitting in the car in front of our house, scrolling on our phones as usual. 

Then, my mom said something to me I had never expected her to say, “Hey, would you want to be in a state pageant?” 

I froze. A pageant? I hesitated. I had never been in a state pageant in my life. I felt a wave of different emotions at that moment. Excitement, confusion, and fear. 

Despite all those emotions, I said, “Sure!” 

Afterwards, she had told me that she had submitted my application into the Miss Illinois Teen pageant a while ago, not expecting anything of it until they accepted it months later. Fortunately, my mom had a friend of hers, Cortnee, who was willing to coach me through the pageant. Cortnee had organized the last local pageant I was in, and it turned out amazing. I was thrilled, especially knowing that I was being coached by a person who knew what the pageant world was like, and who knew me. 

The next few months leading up to the competition were stressful, but exciting. Surprisingly, there were multiple things you needed to know how to do to succeed in a state pageant. 

First, I needed to learn how to walk in 4- inch heels. This was the hardest part for me. Every night after school I practiced walking through the halls of my home, tripping and almost falling multiple times. Eventually, I got the hang of it. 

Secondly, I had to learn how to answer interview questions. This was a great surprise to me. I never knew that judges asked questions in pageants, let alone that the best answers led to a win. This became a priority: I needed to learn how to perfect my answers. 

“My number one goal was to make sure that you felt confident and good about what you were going to put on stage,” Cortnee said. 

Cortnee and I had multiple FaceTime meetings over those few months. Among other things, I had to learn how to keep a smile on my face. I even kept a journal to take notes with every meeting Cortnee and I had. 

The preparation was not always easy.

“The challenges I saw you face were being away from me, adapting to others, listening to others, and paying closer attention to details and instructions,” Mom said. 

“I certainly saw you grow in your independence. I saw you acknowledge your areas of opportunity and growth. I also saw you grow in the grace that you gave yourself,” Cortnee said. 

Finally, we had to pick out the perfect wardrobe for those three days in the pageant. This had to be my favorite part. We cleaned out my entire closet for the perfect outfits. We also went to a beautiful wedding and prom dress store, and found the perfect gown for my final moments. 

Everything was finally coming together. My walk, my wardrobe, and my attitude. I was confident and excited; it was like an alter ego of myself that I never knew existed. 

Soon, it was just a week before the pageant. I was still studying for finals, while also trying to balance the preparations for the pageant. 

On May 23, 2024, it was finally time to pack my things and head out for competition. I got my hair and makeup done, arriving at the hotel feeling nervous and anxious.

Other girls in the competition also walked in with me. Other guests staying at the hotel immediately stopped what they were doing when we walked in. I heard things like, “Oh, who’s going to be our new Miss Universe?,” and “Wow! They’re so beautiful!” 

It was very exciting and overwhelming. As soon as Mom, Cortnee, and I got into the room, we went straight to sleep. It was a big day tomorrow. 

I woke up at 4 a.m. the following morning. After showering and brushing my teeth, I had to go straight downstairs to get my hair and makeup done. 

The makeup artists and hairstylists were very welcoming. Though I was exhausted and a little cranky, I enjoyed talking to them. 

Other girls were also getting their hair and makeup done when I walked in. I was so nervous in front of some of these beautiful girls who had been in pageants since they were 5, and I had only just started at 12. It was intimidating to say the least, but they were surprisingly welcoming and kind. 

Then, I changed into my outfit for the day. We all had to do an introduction video, which would be shown at the start of the competition.

Surprisingly, most of the girls said,“It’s actually my first time doing this pageant thing too.” I was shocked. I was also happy that I wasn’t alone. Through the next several days, I stayed close to them and talked to them. 

Those three days were the same routine. First, I woke up and got my hair and makeup done. Then, I went to rehearsal. Finally, I went back to my room and slept for as long as I could. 

The second day we had interviews with the judges. We stood in front of them and answered questions about anything. The questions varied from “What’s your favorite color?” to “How do you want to change the world?” 

It was all overwhelming, but I felt very confident leaving that room. 

Before I knew it, it was the day of the competition. I woke up that morning and did my usual routine: shower, get dressed, and get my hair and makeup done before heading to the final rehearsal. 

That night felt like everything I had ever worked towards in the pageant. I felt confident and I felt beautiful. All of my outfits went together perfectly. 

To my surprise, I had made it to the semifinals as one of the last 10 girls left in the competition. I also won the People’s Choice award, by getting so many sponsors from people I knew.

“You stood by other contestants with the most confident look on your face. You seemed to belong, and I was extremely proud,” Mom said. 

I got to walk for the last time on that stage, and got to watch the new Miss Teen Illinois win. I was extremely happy not just for myself, but for the other girls, too. During this process, I grew from a shy, nervous girl, to a confident, determined girl. 

“I know participating in pageants is not an easy thing to do. Yes, we can put on the beautiful gowns and have an amazing walk, but I saw you grow in your purpose behind the pageant. This was about fulfilling an opportunity to inform others about who you are and what you’ve overcome,” Cortnee said. 

“I just feel like this really helped you develop into your own person, and becoming self sufficient,” Mom said. 

That following night I said goodbye to the girls and packed my things, heading home and falling asleep in the car. Mom and Cortnee were extremely proud of me, and showered me with compliments. 

The competition was the best thing I ever got to be involved in. No matter how much stress or frustration it brought me, in the end I was happy with myself.

“Although you did not get the crown this time, I see a star. I see a winner in the near future,” Cortnee said.