It’s a complicated process when it comes time to get over an ex. Breakups are painful but necessary events that can serve as a period to learn how to reflect on that situation and better yourself. There are so many different strategies that can help during this time.
When a relationship ends, it can be complicated. Your emotions can be a whirlwind after a relationship dies, with a constant battle in your head of “what if?”
Feeling alone is normal, but it is important to remember other people have gone through this before. Remember to think about what went wrong and how different problems could’ve been resolved. There is always room to learn.
Why are breakups so painful, even if the relationship is falling apart? A separation is unfortunate because there are actual losses, not only of the relationship itself but of dreams and commitments that have not been satisfied. Romantic relationships always begin with excitement and great hope for a bright future. When the relationship falls apart, there are feelings of extreme disappointment, grief, and even stress.
So, what can you do to move on with your life?
“I kept myself busy by working, sports practices, focusing on schoolwork, and anything I could do to keep my mind off of it,” said Marist sophomore Allison Butler. That was one way she coped after her eight-month relationship fell apart.
Many people also decide to stay in contact with a past partner after they go their separate ways, but that isn’t always the best idea. They may still want to have you in their life because they want to keep a close eye on you, or still have the benefit of having you minus the title.
“I noticed he started taking his anger and problems out on me. I realized time heals and he was not okay to be around,” said Marist freshman Kailynn Solis, who went through a toxic breakup in April, 2022.
A main turning point in your mind after a breakup is when you start to take hold of your life. Try new things that don’t involve your past partner, including: yoga, meditation, sitting in nature, creating new hobbies, etc. Learn more about yourself.
Another method that helps many people is to be thankful for everything around you.
“My friends helped me more than I understood when it was time to break up with my boyfriend. I was feeling really sad but they helped me realize I can be happy without him,” said Marist sophomore Faye Bouck.
Feeling upset or unmotivated is expected due to a breakup, which is okay. Cry, eat the carton of ice cream, and look through the texts and old pictures. Give yourself time to accept that it is over.
The number one thing you should NOT do after a breakup is reach out and beg for them back. Please do not do it. You are better than that. It would be best not to chase someone who lets you go and is okay with that.
Even though this process might feel like the worst, remember you can do this. You can be happy again.
